The Stupid Things We Pretend Are “Work”

There are a lot of dumb things we do at the office, but my personal favorite is the annual “team-building exercise.” You know, the one where they make us fall backwards into someone’s arms and call it “trust.”

Newsflash: I don’t trust Kevin from Sales to catch me. I don’t trust Kevin to catch a cold.

Or the endless forms: timesheets, travel requests, the form to get approval to use the other form. We spend more time filling out checkboxes about “work completed” than actually doing the work. And let’s not forget the fire drills. Sure, safety is important — but must we all stand in the parking lot for 45 minutes while Janet brings her emotional support ficus?

Somewhere, buried under mountains of “process,” is the actual job I was hired to do. But don’t worry, I’ll circle back to it… right after I complete this week’s mandatory “wellness survey” about whether I feel “seen as a human.”