Office Confession: The Phantom Meeting Hero

I need to confess something. I’m a meeting faker.

Not in the “I skip them” kind of way. No. I actually create fake meetings for myself on the calendar.

It started innocently — just one “Project Sync” block so I could eat lunch in peace without Chad cornering me to “circle back” on something from three weeks ago. Then it became “Budget Review,” which was actually just me reviewing how much I hate our budget snacks (seriously, off-brand pretzels?).

Fast-forward to today: I had a 2-hour “Strategic Alignment Session.” Translation: I strategically aligned my butt on the couch and caught up on Netflix.

The best part? My boss THANKED me for “taking such initiative.” Apparently, I’m a “meeting machine.” Damn right I am. I’ve got more fake meetings than actual friends.

So here’s the confession: If you see me on the calendar fully booked from 9–5, just know I’m probably aligning with my burrito, syncing with my sanity, or circling back with my nap. And honestly? That’s the most productive I’ve been in months.

-Beth