Finally, a pen that says what you’re really thinking.
This bad boy has a smooth soft-touch grip (because stress-writing through endless meetings should at least feel nice), trendy chevron accents (to distract from your dead eyes), and a stylus tip (so you can sign emails you didn’t read).
 
Colors: Steel Blue, Sage, Green, or Gray — aka “Corporate Chic.”
Trim: Fancy bronze, because you deserve luxury while giving zero fucks.
Ink: Black, just like your soul during status updates.
Bonus: The barrel screams “FRESH OUTTA FUCKS” in bold print. Subtle? Absolutely not.
 
Perfect for: meetings that should’ve been emails, signing HR forms you don’t care about, or gifting to coworkers who’ve also hit their corporate limit.